A Discussion Guide

1. When their neighbors Jen and Rich drunkenly disclose their 500 Mile Rule, Nicole thinks “This sounded like the opposite of fun to her. It sounded creepy and risky and, honestly, exhausting.” Did you share that initial response? How does this one disastrous dinner become pivotal to Jason and Nicole’s marriage?
2. When Nicole backs out of the motorcycle trip, she surprises Jason by offering him the chance to opt into the 500 Mile Rule. It’s not an open marriage, she explains: “We’ll close it back up after this year. It’s not a philosophical change. It’s pragmatic, nothing more. I want to stay married to you…It’s relaxing the rules a bit.” Why do you think she’s changed her mind? Why does he ultimately accept the idea?
3. Nicole’s friend Tessa reassures her that: “…history tells us that marriage can be more flexible than you think.” Does this ring true to you? What did you make of Tessa’s story about the flexibility of her own marriage? Is this flexibility a positive or a negative?
4. Could you take a vacation from your marriage, as Jason and Nicole did?
5. As they begin their year apart, Jason tells Nicole, “I hope you find what you’ve been missing,” Has something been missing from Nicole’s life? What did she ultimately find in Santa Fe? Was something also missing from Jason’s life? How did his motorcycle adventure change him?
6. Jason reflects on “the elusive friends with benefits relationship that his millennial coworkers spoke about, but which his generation missed out on…The concept of mutually agreed upon sex followed by unembarrassed relations had never occurred to them.” Is it a positive that Jason’s discovered this “elusive relationship” in middle age? Do you believe there is a generational divide in attitudes about casual sex, or open marriages?
7. What role does “the Wolfpack” of women friends play in Nicole’s life? How do they influence her marriage sabbatical?
8. “Be careful. Fun is one thing; feelings are another.” Tessa warns Nicole. What specifically is she warning against? What kind of feelings do Jason and Nicole have for their sabbatical flings?
9. Was Nicole right to break things off with Marcos? Was Jason right to delete Abby’s number? What might have happened if they’d maintained those connections after they returned home?
10. Jason and Nicole agree that their marriage sabbatical had led to a “marriage re-up.” Does that seem like a fair description? When you first read about their plans, did you expect them to still be together at the end of the book?
11. Were you surprised to discover that Jen and Rich—who introduced the idea of the 500 Mile Rule—were splitting up?
12. What do you think the future holds for Jason and Nicole? Will they take more marriage sabbaticals? Where do you see them ten years after the end of this novel?
13. If you took a sabbatical, marriage or otherwise, where would go? How would you spend your time?